I see it all the time. You are in your own world and nothing outside of it affects you. They are a number, a static, someone else's husband, son, friend.

That number is my world and by God, I will protect him, defend him, and love him. That number works hard for you and is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to keep your little world a good place, one where you can disregard the evil in the world. That world where you don't acknowledge the truth. Where you choose not to see him.

Step out of your bubble for a minute and look at him, really look, he just saved your life.

I wanted to check in today and nothing profound is in my head at first and then this hit me...

I wish I had more insight into how people look at law enforcement and why they loathe them so much. I see lots of my "friends" still posting, mentioning, and writing negative information about them. I don't think that when I was not a LE wife I had such negative thoughts for this profession. I asked John the other day why he thinks people hate his job and he tells me that for most people it's the idea that they can get a ticket for something he can get away with. Yep, it starts with his ability to give you a ticket.

Before you get all up in my space about it, let me try and explain. Law enforcement officers have the opportunity, at certain times, to go over the speed limit. So, you get a ticket for speeding down the local road and he can do the same with no consequence. Slow down there and let me give you some examples, please. First, he goes over the limit on the way to a call. Second, sometimes it's necessary for him to speed to a call without lights and sirens (which seems to be the biggest gripe). There are many reasons but let me just give you one scenario.

There is a burglary in progress and lights and sirens give the suspect ample time to hear or see the lights or sirens and he is able to get away. You think, so what. This guy gets away but the general public is safe from the speeding officer. Maybe. But maybe this guy is holding a hostage, or maybe there is a young child in the house he is in, or just maybe this guy has a plan and the officer stopping him will divert more disaster. You never know what is at stake when going to a call.

I know of a situation where a group of kids went on a burglarizing spree to acquire items to help them kill people and then flee the country. I guess this situation is probably the extreme but if the officer had been able to catch them in the act and jail them, lives might not have been lost. And lost they were. So, you see, there are reasons for doing what they do and it's not just about speeding.

The biggest problem with the hate boils down to fairness. For whatever reason we all believe in a system that is fair. "It's only fair" and "Let's be fair" are things I heard all the time as a young kid. Crap, I hear it now all the time. I grew up thinking that everything in life should be fair. In a perfect world it would be fair but our world is anything but perfect. I don't understand why we would even teach kids that anything is fair. I know I have lots of occasion to explain to my kids that life is NOT fair and that the sooner they learn that the better off they will be. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

So, when it comes to humans in general not liking law enforcement I think it really boils down to fair. It's unfortunate because there is no way that this life will ever be fair. I was blown away by this revelation as John talked about why his job is so hated. And it's not just the job but the officers who are also hated. If you choose this job, it's just common knowledge that you are hated. It really makes me sad. I know there are some "bad seeds" so to speak but in general, most officers are incredible and need the same things that you do. Approval, love, acceptance, and praise.

This hate is true in any unfair situation though so maybe it's just a human flaw. If you are poor you hate the rich. If you are driving a horrid car, you hate the person driving the nice one. If you can't afford a vacation, you hate the people who can... Oh, but here is the kicker in all of this. The Tenth Commandment says that You Shall Not Covet. If we are truly trying to make ourselves in the image of God, then we are all failing miserably. I am not exempt and neither is anyone this planet.

We all spend far too much time hating and coveting things. This is a HUGE part of why so many people are so depressed, mad, sad, and just plain unhappy. I want each of you to go out in the world today, tomorrow, and every day and make it about being happy with what you have. Look at your life and find something, even a small something, that is making you happy every single day. There is something. Find it. Be happy for others who have more, be happy for the unfairness of this world, because you can't change it, and just be happy to be alive! Go out in this world and make a difference :)

Me again. I am having a really hard time today understanding the hatred so many people have for law enforcement. Today it's an accident that looks like was not the officer's fault. And no matter what the outcome he will be hated. There is no way to win and it's sad that society has come to this. 

There is this man who was misguided as a young boy. So many kids these days see things in their lifetime that were never meant for them and it molds them for life. Most of them get some sort of purpose for life in those years. He is no different. For whatever reason he is driven to a job that most hate and few could do themselves. A bulletproof vest, a heavy burden, and a conviction to see justice is what he will carry into battle every day.

He worked hard for years to get through college and then worked even harder to prove he had what it takes to walk the thin blue line. That line is what saves you from the unimaginable truth, the truth that evil is out there all the time waiting in the shadows for you. He was put through a veritable hell so that he could one day hold that line. 

He got married to the love of his life and pursued a love for God. He gives everything of himself so unselfishly to the people he protects. He helped bring three children into this world. They are his world and despite the hardened life he leads, manages to soften for them and be this incredible father. He dances with them, wrestles with them, takes them to gym, makes lunches, drives to school, watched the golf lessons, watches the plays, and kisses them goodnight. He is human first but has developed a thick skin because the horrors he sees would break any other man. He internalizes the pain and moves forward because without him there is no line.

I think that most people detach the human from the officer. They often assume officers are all robots that have no feelings. He has come home in tears after losing a baby on shift, feeling like if he could have just been there sooner or been better at CPR...it's all there in his head. He feels sorrow and guilt for having to use force or even deadly force to stop a looming threat. He is not a robot and he will always have emotions. He will grieve, love, hope, and smile too big when he sees his kids succeed or his wife after a long day. He is you and I and every other human out there. He makes mistakes just as you and I do. There is no way for him to be perfect just as you, are in no way perfect. We are all just imperfect people trying to make it in this world that gets ever more violent as the seconds recede.

He can be any officer and have a wife who loves him at home (Patti's, Lisa's, Molly's, Ali's, Karen's or Nicole's) and HE is mine and he puts you before me. He gives YOU the best he has and I get what he has left after the day ends. Sometimes it's not much but I am willing to take anything I can get of this hero I call my husband. I love him. He is nothing short of amazing and every one of these incredible officers deserves our respect, admiration, and our unwavering support as they walk this thin blue line. 

So much of what goes on today is negative. If you are a sensitive person you absorb more of that than the average person and it can quickly get in your head and create problems. 

With that being said, I want to talk a little about a subject that makes everyone cringe and walk away.

SUICIDE... it's a dirty word, I know it is. 

Taking your own life is a very serious thing and I have seen more of it in my life than I need. This started for me some 25 years or so ago when a mother of a student took her life. We knew that she was having trouble but couldn't get her the help she needed. It's hard when you are young to imagine any reason to take your own life. Nothing I could see would ever be that bad. I watched as young children were devastated  by the news of their mother passing. Kids internalize a lot and I am certain they went through a time when they could easily see some fault in themselves. 

Like it or not, people who take their own life are troubled. Sane, healthy, mentally stable people do not take their own life. Being that troubled sometimes goes unnoticed and I know for a fact that as a society we tend to ignore the signs. They will figure it out on their own, they are just in a funk, they are drinking to much and will get better, his doctor gave him some pills, he'll be just fine... there are lots of excuses but they are just no good.

As a new mother, I was given news that a family member had attempted suicide on what should be a happy occasion. Sometimes what we see isn't what they see. She saw everyone being happy but herself, she saw a looming divorce, and she saw something she could never have. I am thankful that she was unsuccessful in her attempt but saddened that she could get to the point where nothing mattered anymore. 

My next experience with suicide came as a complete shock to me. It was someone I thought had everything together, was stable, loved, and had a great career.  He had everything and was always smiling, lead a youth group at church and was genuinely a happy person. I was so wrong and so were so many other people. Why? We will probably never know. I don't have the answers but I may have a little insight.

I am admitting right now that I have depression, OCD, and anxiety. I will tell anyone who asks about my past because I am not afraid of what they think. I will sit with you and discuss options, medication, help, anything. It does not scare me. I have never attempted to take my own life but I have been at points in my life where I considered it. It was always worse in my head than it was in reality and that seems to be the biggest problem with mental illness. My brain and emotions were at war and I was losing. I remember driving down a nearly deserted Panama Lane when I was about 17 and working through my pain thinking that I could stop it if I hit a pole with my car. 

My mind had shut down the logic and I really felt that everyone would be better off without me. It's really silly now to talk about it because there are TONS of people who would have been wrecked to lose me. It's the same for everyone and and that's what makes metal illness so hard to overcome. You can't control the feelings and sometimes even the medication contributes to the problem. 

So we have come to the next suicide in my life and from the outside this family looked perfect. They had everything. How on earth did it get this bad? A sweet friend of mine and her sister lost not only their  dad, but their mom as well. The heartbreak was evident all around. Could anything have changed if someone had stepped in? I cannot be sure, but I do know that help is out there and we just have to know how to get through to them before it's too late.

It doesn't even escape the people we think are untouchable. Robin Williams had this incredible talent to make everyone laugh but he was holding a time bomb within him. How do you get past your issues if he can't?

The latest in my life is something that I cannot go into detail about. This person was saved before it was too late and will hopefully be getting the help they need. I pray that the help works and that they love a long, happy life.

DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! EVER! Give them valid reasons to seek help and above all else, love them. Tell them you will help and mean it. Here are some resources if you or a loved one needs help.

The National Suicide Hotline 1 (800) 273-8255
In Kern County  1(800) 991-5272
You can chat online with someone here- I'm Alive@ http://hopeline.com
If you are in trouble and need immediate help, please call 911

So today brings in a bunch of blame and I feel the need to write about it. Someone I know posted on Facebook about a couple of 3rd graders going to school and telling a hispanic kid that he would have to go "home" when Trump wins the election. She blames Donald Trump for this.

I am not a Trump advocate but I feel the need to defend him because he did not cause this issue. As a parent, we are given the responsibility to raise our kids the way we see fit. If that does not scare you, nothing will. Parents do not have a class to attend and there is not an online to follow.

If you grew up and learned to be racist from your parents, then you will most likely do the same to your kids. It's the cycle of life. If you yell at your kids, they yell. If you take your kids to church, they will get a religion. If you tell them that blacks, hispanics, Muslims, etc. are lower class then that's what they will believe. It's basic human nature.

Kids (especially 3rd graders) do not sit around and watch presidential debates nor do they even understand the crap they spew. But, they do understand the words coming out of their parents mouths.

I doubt anything Trump has said was not already a part of these children's lives to begin with. Hate breeds hate and I do not think blaming Trump for this is the way to make it better. You can't change the way people raise their kids. And, boy do I wish I could!!

It's sad that this election has turned adults into kids and has made us all hate each other. We are all AMERICANS and we need to start acting like we are and blame the source instead of trying to one up the competition. Americans need to unite and get this place under control. It's clearly not and I am predicting a war in the future if we cannot change the way we approach the future

Love the unloved and be the happy.